Everywhere I have turned this week, there has been news of personal tragedy.
A very good friend messaged me to say that her sister’s husband had succumbed to COVID, leaving behind two young children, even as another sister has been in hospital for nearly two weeks now, fighting for her life, after not responding to chemo.
Still another messaged to say that an older sister and a niece, who had been battling a heart ailment and multiple myeloma respectively, had contracted and succumbed to COVID within a month of each other.
A sister-friend urged, “Please pray for my daddy, Donna!” Her father is now hospitalized, unable to breathe properly on his own as fluid gathers around his lungs. While we wait for the diagnosis regarding whether it’s an infection or pneumonia, hopefully, he will still receive his regularly scheduled dialysis.
Very close to my heart, another sister-friend is quietly battling the raging side-effects of “red devil” chemo, struggling to cope fearlessly with the onslaught in her battle against breast cancer.
It is all so heartbreaking — overwhelming, really — the sheer numbers of people who are hurting, mourning the loss of loved ones, jobs and their freedoms. Lockdown is no joke if you plan to survive this long season of homeschooling children alongside the strain of unemployment and empty pantries. Food insecurity is real in America today.
So grieve, if you must — it is cathartic. But more importantly, find the courage to transform your pain into something positive, if only to get on with the unfinished business of your life, all those things you think you’ll be able to do “one day.”
Now is all we have.
Far too many of us have bought into the notion that our “best life” will begin when… We’ve bought into the doctrine that our best lives are still ahead of us. But what if — just what if — where we are, right now, is the “best” our lives will ever be? What would that mean for you? Would you believe that you had lived a successful life? Or that you had fulfilled your purpose? And if not, why not?
Perhaps, the perilous times in which we live are a reminder of life’s fragility. Perhaps, it is a reminder that circumstances beyond our control will often stymie our progress, tear loved ones away long before we are ready, and challenge our very definition of what constitutes “enough.” Even in the midst of a global pandemic, make no mistake, many of us are thriving. So, perhaps the challenge — and the definition of success — is simply to find peace and joy in those precious moments and opportunities that arise, exactly where we are.
Do not get me wrong. Nothing is wrong with having goals. But on our way to “there,” let us not be so driven — so caught up in the trap of preoccupation with circumstances that are outside of our control, or are yet to happen — that we fail to be mindful of the present, those precious moments that are fleeting, some never to return. That extra time we would not have otherwise had to bond with our children and make meaningful deposits into their lives. The appreciation to be able to work from that home for which we’ve spent years working hard to pay the mortgage but never truly had the time to enjoy. The time, which, wisely spent, can rekindle the flames of passion in an intimate relationship.
Perhaps, part of the beauty of getting older is the dawning awareness that it is the journey that is the destination. We came here as spiritual beings to have a human experience in all its complexities. And perhaps our “best life” happens when we simply connect with the one — that being, the silent witness on the inside — whose real job is to experience and appreciate the view. And simply be grateful for it.
Yes, gratitude is a must. It is the attitude that sets the altitude for our “best life.”
Moreover, anticipate the victory.
Have you heard the saying, “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die”? Well, the same can be said about victory: Everybody wants the victory, but nobody wants the fight.
Indeed, it is a great accomplishment to stand victorious in the winner’s circle but, in the glamour of the win among the cheering masses, let’s not forget what the actual victor looks like. If it was any battle worth winning, I can guarantee you that it’s not a pretty sight. Bloody. Sweaty. Beaten-up. Ugly. Dazed. Limping. Exhausted, mentally and physically. That’s what real victory looks like. In fact, the reason a prized fighter has his hand raised in victory is, likely, because he has no more strength to raise it himself.
Victory is not some clean, sanitized process.
Therefore, whatever your battle is today, remember the road to victory is never smooth. With every bump in the road, every pothole you fall into, the shame is not in falling. The shame is in staying there. So. Get. Back. Up. There will be no white flags today. Nor towels thrown into the ring. You always have another round to battle when where you are doesn’t look or feel like the vision God gave you. And make no mistake, that’s the whole point of the vision. You have to persevere. You have to get back up and fight for what’s right. For what’s yours. For your relationship. For your kids. For your dreams. For you. Victory is a win over the enemy of your soul!
So, no, you will not arrive looking like you just stepped out of the pages of GQ or Vogue. That’s the celebration party — after the victory.
© Donna Kassin. 2015-2021. All rights reserved.
Original Article
