In bedrooms across America, seemingly, the honeymoon is long over.
A sexless marriage is nothing to joke about. Neither is a genuine disparity in sexual libido. But sometimes, there’s more going on in the bedroom than ingenious excuses can cover.
In the video above, “Don” gives us insight, in hilarious fashion, on what exactly is taking place in his bedroom. Indeed, he detailed it via spreadsheet with great precision.
We may laugh. But his account is more than a random comedy skit.
Back in 2014, one unnamed man presumably thought that the key to improving his sex life with his wife was to document, over a six-week period, all the times he had been rebuffed sexually and then email said spreadsheet to her. She received it while in a taxi on the way to the airport.
Not to be outdone — or shamed for owning her sexual agency — the wife responded in kind:
Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my ‘excuses,’ using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.
Her own detailed accounting made it clear that, in some intimate relationships, bedroom etiquette has clearly fled the building. But more importantly, it’s amazing, under the conditions she outlined, that some couples are having sex — at all. And perhaps, the real lesson for men — or women, for that matter — who find themselves in circumstances like this is to examine the times in which their partners actually say yes!
Seriously, is farting and “Dutch Ovening” a thing that men think will fire up a woman’s erotic response?
Couples in this downward spiral sexually should take heed. John Gottman — a leading relationship expert who takes a research-based approach to relationships — would undoubtedly find present in such relationships the communication styles that he has dubbed the “Four Horsemen”, which predict the demise of a relationship: Criticism. Contempt. Defensiveness. Stonewalling.
“Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions,” Gottman says, “is a necessary first step to eliminating them, but this knowledge is not enough. To drive away destructive communication and conflict patterns, you must replace them with healthy, productive ones.”
Fortunately, each Horseman has a proven positive behavior that will counteract negativity. Click here to learn about the antidotes.
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© Donna Kassin 2021. All rights reserved.
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